Life's A Struggle

Who Or What Creates Your Identity?
I think what made me have the ability to be able to code switch is being around so many languages while I grew up. When I was a child I was around Spanish and slang English so I became able to understand both and not feel out of place. I learned Spanish from my whole family since we are a Mexican family who holds on to are roots and still know how to speak our native tongue. Then I learned the slang English from my older brothers, sisters and uncles who got it from the streets. Once I entered elementary school and middle school I became somewhat out of place because I was being looked at as un-educated by the way I speak.

“Identity is the essential core of who we are as individuals, the conscious experience of the self inside.” Gloria Anzaldua

I started to realize through years of taking English classes at school on how to speak properly, I still caught myself not talking properly with my slang words. So even though I have problems with mixing some of the different languages I feel more proud in myself that I can communicate with a variety of people. I’m also proud that people can understand me when I’m talking to them in their language and not seem like a perpetrator to fit in.

Who You Look Up To Is Who Makes You
It was a regular day and I just got back from school. I brought home my report card and showed it to my mom. My mom was enraged of my grades, I had received two A’s and rest were C’s and D’s. I had nothing to explain for my grades and what I got in return was a whipping with the belt and getting yelled at. I started heading to my room to cry but my older brother took me into his room and he said to stay in his room so I wouldn’t run into my mom again. I stayed in his room and I started to do my homework. While I was doing my homework I started to struggle so my brother began to help me. I felt so great inside because he was the one who helped me with my homework. After teaching me how to solve the problems and finish my homework my brother told me he wanted to talk to me. My brother told me he wanted me to keep going to school and never fall into the lifestyle he was living. He said the lifestyle he was living was the one he never wanted me to live and that it wouldn’t bring anything but pain.

“I work for my living! yelled Juan. I don’t go around shooting people! And I wouldn’t shoot a gun inside a house or car no matter if God Himself tells me to! I think, I use my head, and I work hard! I make my own liquor! I don’t steal from no man! I’m a businessman! I’m not a stupid gang of little two-bit, ass-turning punks, ganging up on an old teacher and pantsing him! I got balls, you understand? I got respect! I sweat! I work!” (pg 313) Victor Villasenor


So I promised him that I would succeed in school and from that day forward that was my goal in life. Right now till this day I’m fulfilling his wishes on completing that goal. The one other thing I remembered about my brother that made me look up to him, was that he was the center of the family and he brought the family together during family holidays. My brother always made everyone happy and always made sure everyone was alright. My brother wanted to give the best for my family. He did that but he didn’t get to finish since his life was taken away when he was 17. Since he passed away I took that goal he wanted for my family which was to have the best in life. I will succeed in education like he asked for me to do and become someone big in life to give my family everything they dreamed of. I want to be the men my brother wanted to be, the men he couldn’t become because the life he was in.

Teaching Yourself Is Your Greatest Strength
Throughout my whole life I never really had anyone to help me with my schoolwork besides one of my older brothers who helped me when he could and was at home. But since he passed away I have had to do my schoolwork on my own. I couldn’t get any other help from anyone because my mom wasn’t well educated like other mother’s because she had to work to support us when she was young instead of going to school.

“I started writing nonfiction as a freelancer the week after I was told by my former boss that writing was my worst skill and I should hone my talents toward account management.” Amy Tan


My siblings couldn’t help me because they were never home. So, seeing that I had to do it on my own I had to work that much harder to make myself get the homework even when I was stuck on it. I couldn’t get help from school because I had to take the bus home from school since my mom was busy working at the house. My mom also didn’t have all the money in the world to be driving from East Palo Alto all the way to Woodside hills so I had to work with what was giving to me. I gained self discipline through doing my homework on my own and seeing my mom support all of us on her own. My mom worked all day but still was a mom when she came home tired. So I became self discipline and use that to my advantage till this day to help day to day in life.